I am no expert in raising kids by the way, but if I have one, I would want to do the below as well I think… Perhaps an emotional reaction to too many #MeToo stories and also some traumatising memories that surface sometimes from my own childhood and teenage times here and there like most women of my generation.
Abused children, even children who witness abuse, have a high chance of becoming adult abusers and the cycle goes on, studies say. Even if that is not completely true, it is better to raise healthier kids for a healthier society.
To reduce the number of #MeToos for the next upcoming generations, teach your children – boys and girls – what counts as abuse be it sexual or non-sexual, how to respect fellow beings and treat others with kindness, how to not take something from anyone without consent, even if it is a toy or a “Yes” to be a robber or police, and how to seek help if something did happen to them and how to live without scars but grow up healthy emotionally and physically. No, it is not creating a paranoid generation, but simple life skills that you can teach. If one abuses one’s own child, one is an irreparable monster and that is a very extreme case. That is why always pay attention to kids around you, even if they are not your own without intruding too much, but be vigil. It doesn’t matter if you’re wrong: it’s better to be wrong than sorry. All it needs is your time. Yes, TIME! A lot of Time and willingness!
When a child fails to seek help from their own parents and near ones or their teachers, yes you have failed. You need to take responsibility for that failure in one way or the other. When they feel trapped due to the conflicting affection they have for the abuser, or because of the power the abuser has over them and the society, they suffer silently, to go to places where they might never come back healthy emotionally. The emotional scars remain and will surface as wounds again sometime in their later lives or it will be buried without being dealt with for years to come maybe all their lives. Most of the post-abuse stress can reduce to almost nothingness if they are heard at the right time and helped and counselled and reassured. Someone groping you or touching you should not be the end of the world, you have not lost yourself or dignity, we have to move on and live life without losing the spark and love for life. It is the burial of it as a guilt and wound to stay there and become an inner lesion that makes it all unhealthy and hard. The trauma is a society induced one, the loss of dignity is a self-created one within, an abused child or adult has not lost anything, but should rise. We have to create an environment where calling out the abuser itself is normal and easy and also the trauma the abused should feel should be almost nil. That is where we should get to and I think we are on our way. Our children will be better off than our generation where we were told to feel low and less if we were touched or groped, because we were asking for it, or gave the wrong signals, or did not avoid getting abused etc. Our children should face the world out there with awareness. They should feel they are not alone nor did they did anything wrong to be abused but call out the abusers then and there, leave the adults to deal with the abuser wisely and legally, and pity the abuser, heal and move on to be happy adults with less MeToo to speak about after decades.