May ;)

May and its surprises ๐Ÿ™‚

I flew to the US for work in May 2004 my first ever trip abroad, and my first time ever in a flight, I had not done even a domestic flight before that. My parents and aunts and uncle and friends and grandparents and cousins all were there at the Bangalore airport. It was the funniest parting scene ever. And I flew to Delhi first, stayed there with Deeps, my darling roommate from TCS ILP onwards till she got married and moved out. We stayed awake for hours and hours and memories are still intact. We four flatmates are in four different cities but we still cannot detach ourselves from each other. Thanks to Skype, now whats app and well iPhones ๐Ÿ˜‰ Jail Apple flatmates.

Also May 2004, my marriage search began, of course, I was up on the matrimonial site, and everything was fixed in that month itself. Though I had all the right to reject people since arranged marriages were so weird anyway for me that I said yes to A who seemed quite keen and different from other three people I met which were a complete disaster. It was a NO for me in first 10 minutes or so, whereas with A he was pleasant and could have a conversation without being turned off.

I flew to the UK in May 2005, after getting married in April 2005, new life, new dreams, new job, nervous etc. And after dithering for more than a year, in May 2008 I finally moved out from the house I was living in, to move to a different flat and for the first time, I lived alone. It was crazy to live alone for the first time, but I had people all around.ย  Jono, Roo, Chris, his parents, Rah, Bethany, Naomi…..was surrounded by people and people who lifted me up from going down further. I and Chris started spending time together a lot( till then it was all unsaid) from June 2008 onwards. Good ole confused but happy memories.

May 2011, I was back in India, taking a break, before I join my MBA in September. Chris had joined his PhD that May and everything felt right that time. We formed Cardium productions that month, I travelled extensively for the Endosulfan project we were doing alone and with the team. Well it was very exciting and I enjoyed what came as a surprise to me then, someone madly falling in love with me( maybe / maybe not :P), though it never felt right for me.ย  I was right then and now I gather. Let’s keep that aside for now. I have my own share of indecision which has hurt people for long. I only regret not being firm, but looking back it is easy to say that now. But I did feel pampered and pompous, perhaps the vanity in me was thrilled. ๐Ÿ™‚ Also perhaps I missed Chris, perhaps I was empathetic too much, perhaps I was feeling too important with the whole new Kollywood kind of attention I got, relentlessly, perhaps I was pulled into someone’s misery where I felt I could help and it was all a conundrum, oh it was. I always felt sad when Chris cursed his PhD which prevented him from moving to India, but then we made it, we did. All the sidekicks and distractions we had, seem to be like a test which made us learn more about life and each other and above all people. And Oh yes, May 2011, my sister gave me the big big news, that she was pregnant. Oh, what joy it was!

May 2012 Chris came to Bangalore, we started the playhouse project, and again what a journey it was ;). If not for Chris we would not have done that project I think, hope to make more now. A lot more.

May 2014, finally my ex-husband let me go and mutual divorce was finalised after years of separation.

May 2016, Chris put a ring on my left ring finger and it has never left my finger in the worst of times or best of times. I have worn it always and I look at it and it sings a song of spring and May, reminds me of the red and yellow flower carpet that the blooming trees make every spring in front of my parent’s house. The trees that my mother and grandmother lovingly planted.

May 2017, something snapped in me, a tiny thread of confusion that was there inside me, snapped badly,ย  and slowly I moved to a liberated guilt-free self and that journey continues, little by little, step by step, smile after smile… A free free mind where everything is almost true and not confusing.

And look where I am now.

May 2018, well it has been a bit chaotic, but nothing radically new, same old side kick stories emerged, nothing different much, other than the fact that I reminisce all the Mays that passed by, which was all so eventful in its own way.

And I thank you May, May I? ๐Ÿ™‚


3 thoughts on “May ;)

    1. Ha Ha forgot, May is the month we spoke to each other for the first time as well isn’t last year! Oh my my! ๐Ÿ™‚


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