The Lost festival of my heart.

Onam and the memories attached to it are the most painful. It is a myth and a cultivated one indeed that, Onam is about our identity, the one time we should all be happy and together and forget everything and start afresh. And it somehow has worked for me and for many I guess to feel that you belong to something and that you have an identity which makes you and only the us lot enjoy and cherish Onam and its festivities. I feel nostalgic and deeply disturbed and overwhelmed during this time of the year. And every passing year it is painful to look back at all the Onams we had and relished.

I miss myself and everything about me and about Onam that I knew and adored. One’s heart is empty as though someone stole a big chunk of Onam from you and it happens every year. Onam the lover you always cherished in your childhood, in your teens, in your youth and even in your marriage, who knocked at your door every year to remind you that you can still be nostalgically in love with Onam the lover in your heart. A secret lover of your heart.

With teary eyes and a heavy heart, I wish another Onam did not knock at my door, and paradoxically,  same time cherish this feeling of missing myself and Onam – the lost festival of my heart. 

6 thoughts on “The Lost festival of my heart.

  1. You know you are right.. there surely is something about Onam… apart from the festivities and joy… that prods you to walk through a memory lane which disturbingly is both sweet and bitter….

    Like

  2. You know you are right.. there surely is something about Onam… apart from the festivities and joy… that prods you to walk through a memory lane which disturbingly is both sweet and bitter….

    Like

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