The inevitable Ratchet effect.
When you lack any sort of motivation to write or think or even keep yourself decently happy, something deeply disturbing strikes you and then something precious snaps inside you. And you become numb for a day or two. And then you feel empty and lost to only recover to be alright and stand up again.
It has happened to me many times. It happens to all of us, I guess.
You build up and cling on to newer things and dreams to keep going. Without any real wish to over analyze my life and relationships, I still keep doing it like as though I have an obsessive compulsive disorder to dissect and analyze my life while living and all that over engineering sometimes makes it not worth living, really.
The hysteresis that I see in all of it just makes it all the more complicated. How complicated can life become?The present and the future, based on my past decisions and choices I had made , sneers back at me . And with utmost fear in my otherwise crumbled heart, I try to forget that I should not have. I just should not have…
So what if I make more wrong choices? Am I again making wrong choices? How can I ever escape all this? I have lost the game of life and love, yet again.
Par-rondo’s paradox! A losing strategy that wins?